Loving Only You.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

My piorities went haywired since yesterday.

Even though I'm happy that I got a 21/80 for my maths which is sort of like 2 times of my previous 15/80. I'm worried for my paper yesterday. How many marks would I get this time round? I always dread every Wednesday. And its like, we're getting THIS particular paper back tomorrow.

And Grace passed the paper. (53/80) One of the two passes of the class. While I'm happy for her, on the other hand. I am already beginning to doubt my own ability to get the 13 points I aim to get. Look at my results now. Is 13 points on my O level certificate even possible?

So I didn't handle the whole situation all too well. I withdrew from God unknowingly and started walking down the down spirial of self-destruction. I begun doubting my own abilities and even begun doubting God. I ended up showing a black face to HanRong in the school library today. But I made it up later on when I was leaving for Physics. Grace sensed something wrong because she asked if I was mad at her.

However, I didn't know. Yes, I was a little mad at her for getting good grades. And I was worried for myself that all the thoughts started accumulating into a whole snow ball of sins.

I did not sit with Grace during physics because I did not want to hurt her. Lest that I said something wrong on the impulse. During physics my imagination ran wild, wild, wild. Like mean things that I would say to Grace. I did not have any intentions to let her know about me crying badly about my ~~pathetic~~ maths results yesterday.

But I made a decision and went over with an attempt to scare her but it did not work. Then I poured my soul to her, letting her know about my feelings since yesterday. She was very nice, she listened and pointed out things that I did not see. I thought that my relationship with God for the week had been okay. But it turned out that I had unknowingly, unknowingly been 'serving two masters'. Yes, my O levels.

She then gave me quite a lot of advices to encourage myself in the Lord. She then told me about David and a whole lot of things and we ended up boring MeiHui during lunch. (Sorry.)

Oh wells, from NOW I am going to set my piorities right again. Whatever's past, past. And tomorrow is going to be brighter!

Going to study nowwwww. Byebye!

Grace is guiding me to Kallang MRT to meet Jaslyn and the rest of E4 tomorrow for Festival of Praise! Thank you God for such a wonderful, wonderful friend! I love her very, very much! Bless her!

♥ 9:14:00 PM

Monday, July 28, 2008

Hi, it has been foreverrrrr since I posted.

25 hours is my aim! (:

But on the other hand.

I feel really exhausted.

I don't know what has been bothering me.

But there's this naggy feeling within me that won't go awayyyyy.

But on the brighter side of things. : D

I brought my Follow Up notes to school to show Grace today and she seem more excited than I do. Is it a must to be excited? =/

Then today's Literature's really refreshing.

At least its something new compared to The English Teacher.

YES, ITS POEMS!!!

Oh and yay! Festival of Praise is this Friday.

I am so excited. Its my first time attending such an event! (:

♥ 8:32:00 PM

Sunday, July 20, 2008

short post.

Went church with MUM today! :D

And I made a promise to God to study for 20 hours per week!

I can do it. (:

13 points for Os, I'm coming! :D

♥ 12:03:00 AM

Monday, July 14, 2008

Well, no posts on the rainbow.

S-o-r-r-y!

._.

So friggin tired lately. (and lazy)

And I realised I havent been speaking to God.

Hello, we're running in circles again.

And I seem to be treating God as a personal God.

Irritating logic, but its the truth:

I'm lukewarm.

D: D: D:

It's time to humble myself in front of God again.

NO MORE GETTING DRIFTED AWAY BY TEMPTATION AGAIN!

I WANT TO BE CLOSE TO GOD!

But saying is useless! ):

Faith without works are DEAD!!

D-E-A-D

O levels Chinese Listening Comprehension tomorrow!

p.s: I want to jump down the building.

I hate myself for always been drawn into temptation.

♥ 11:11:00 PM

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Great is your love, O Lord, higher than the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
Psalms 108:4

God IS Faithful!

& This is my evidence!

(Please ignore that unsightly construction site!)

Haha. Interested?

Well, more to come soon! ^^

♥ 7:37:00 PM

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

R-A-I-N-I-N-G =O

I don't like rain ):

Oh man... Now I am hungry! D: D: D:

Mm... Anyway, my schedule's solved!

(Yay!)

18-20 July

Friday: maths tutition

Sat: English tution/Church

Sun: Science tuition

Mmmm... And hey,

my dad told my mum on msn last night that:

If Daphne can potray herself as a better person both acdemically and morally,

she can attend church.

Still so awed about it! ( Are you happy too? x) )

And of course I shared the happy news with Grace.

Eh, I havent told Jaslyn yet. Haha.

I think I'll sms her about it.

Oh wait, I think I told her.

Now I think I haven't.

Argh. So confusing la~

._. ._. ._.

And mum's going to church with me, me and me on the 19 July.

God's so amazing. <3

♥ 5:47:00 PM

Monday, July 07, 2008

Yay! D: MY SCHEDULE IS DRIVING ME INSANE AGAIN!!

I'm attending church on the 19 and maybe 20 July

But my timings are going haywired!!

D: D: D:

Usual timing

Saturday:

11am-1pm - English

3pm-5pm - Maths

Now

5pm-7pm - Service

D: What about my tuitions? D:

Anyway... I'm sure God will provide a way for me. >.<

p.s: Seriously, I do not like Microsoft 2000!!! It keeps haning my friggin comp! D:

♥ 2:33:00 PM

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Today has been so-so so far.

Replied about 23 entries of guestbook to Gia...

(We love each other yes sis? (: )

Mm... Still feeling glad that I went to churchhhh yesterday. I really felt refreshed because I've been spiritually dried up due to stress, and having doubts here and there... ):

I must have confidence in God and myself!

Well, last night while I was falling asleep, I pondered about what Pastor preached about in church.

What is spirituality?

I sort of realised that I havent been very spiritual. Like, not being very close to God.

(Hey, sorry if you dont get my meaning luh~ Its hard to even put it in words, let alone saying it out.)

So, we leant that spirtuaility is having the mind of Christ. It is also comparing spiritual things with what's spiritual. Because most of us can't comprehend what God is trying to tell us and we are therefore, blinded to the spiritual world

(Sounds a little like me for the past few weeks...)

The things a spiritual person ought to let go are: Envy, strive, division. Such things are the causes of a bad character due to insercurity.

(sounds like me too D:)

*Set your mind on spiritual things*

Faith pleases God; Flesh does not.

Flesh = Sin that is driven by fear.

Soo... Recently, I've been having quite a few faces of doubt. Like, sort of wondering: Is God actually even helping me in my studies? Its like, I tell myself, "Okay. I shall leave my work to God. I'll do my best and He will help me." But unknowingly, towards the end, I find myself still struggling alone. You can view this happening in maths lessons.

Maybe, I havent been doing things the right way. When I am drawn into work, I stop communicating with God and start to concentrate on the work as a whole. Its quite perplexed to think about it sometimes... Of course the bible tells us to never doubt God.

Then back on the topic of yesterday's sermon.

We learn that:

Faith is led by God, worked by peace.

Flesh is led by people (Thru logic & pressure), worked by insercurities.

We should never doubt ourselves!

There's actually no need to prove to others about anything if you have Faith within.

I seem to be repeating yesterday's sermon yes? Well, I still got more to analyze. I'll be back when I've think of more. ._. Just feel that God's telling me to have more faith!

♥ 12:47:00 PM

Saturday, July 05, 2008

This sudden hunger suddenly seem so strong...

The desire to crave for God

& to grow under His guidance...

Father, I desire nothing more in the world than Your love.

Teach me to love others like how you love me.

Teach me to forgive others like how you forgave me.

Teach me the many things that the world does not teach.

Teach me to be more like You.

♥ 11:27:00 PM

Attended church today!

FINALLY! After such a long period of time.

Argh...

I missed church so, super much! D:

And I had to bargain with mum just to attend for today's session...

But it was worth it, because I am feeling so much closer to God todayyy!!

Daddy is so wrong about Christians not needing to attend service!

So wrong! D:

I wish I could attend church more!

I wish O levels were over already la~

Miss hoGc lots, lots, lots!

I wish God would touch Mummy's heart (:

♥ 10:21:00 PM

Thursday, July 03, 2008

... Oral topic is... ._.

YOUTH OLYMPICS!!!

Terrance kept chanting about how nervous he is

& he's before me!! D:

However, I just placed my trust in the Lord...

& I felt this peace in my heart... (:

Even though I might have not answered the question properly...

I am certain I can get at least a pass for the O level oral :D

Because I've done my best... God will do the rest.

And I'm down with a flu... D:

So I'm not attending school tomorrow///

bye bye.

♥ 9:46:00 PM

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

It is irritaing

When you doubt God;

Because you know

that you trust Him.

GOD IS FAITHFUL.

Shoo~ You devil!

Stop placing faithless thoughts into me.

Because God is always with me!

In the name of Jesus.

I pray, Amen

O level Chinese Oral tomorrow!

May God be with ME! :D :D :D

Oh and I pray that I can attend this Sunday's service!! (:

♥ 6:15:00 PM

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

THANK YOU GOD FOR EVERYTHING!!!

My FAITH & HAPPINESS has flown up the ladder in just 2 days!!

A life with Daddy Jesus is just so full of surprises!!! (:

Everyday is like a present itself.

I learnt to take delight in little things too.

Oh and Praise the Lord! For there's 4 hours of M-A-T-H-S tomorrow!! ^^

Are you surprised to see me writing this?!

YES, I LOVE LOVE LOVE MATHS!!!

Still not so much for Science yet, but its a start!!

p.s: I've changed the blogskin...

Finally.

Loves;

♥ 5:19:00 PM