After I read what Tricia (Hikaru) wrote in my tag,
Somehow... That feeling which plunged at me immediately was

Confusion and Guilt and Fear.

And I can understand why am I feeling that way.
But the feeling is just so hard to just bottle up and throw it aside.

Actually I have been confused with my own religion lately ever since I cried at Church. And it was the only visit I ever had. I mean, I believe that Christ does exist. However, I was never taught that other Gods do not exist as well.

I just do not like the feeling of betraying the Gods I have been praying. Here's like a little secret to share I guess. =X

I was born premature. (So I'm supposed to be born in Febuary, 1992) But I was born 2 months earlier than expected. When I was born I was rather close to Death. (I think I'm exaggerating but its something along those lines.) What Mum did was to visit the temple to pray to Guan Yin and allowed her to adopt me as her God- daughter. So I grew up believing that she rescued me from Death.

So its like a bond shared between me and my Godess. (:

I cannot say I am a Christian I guess, because I have not thrown away the belief of the other Gods existing.

Another thing is: I'm scared.

I know that I am one of those who ban tu er fei.
I am so afraid that if I do adopt Christianity as my religion,
I will have to forsake Buddhism.

And although I know that becoming a Christian is your own freewill, I got a feeling that my family isn't going to be very happy with it.

What I fear most is that praying to Christ is currently just a 'fad' to myself and I would just throw it away once I leave Broadrick. And once I throw it away, and when I want to turn back to face my own Gods... I don't want to realize that they had already leave me behind...

Al the confusions... Sigh.
I guess it is just so much better to be a freethinker.
Time will tell it all. (:
Deal with it.