Daphne is feeling really glad after an upsetting afternoon last Friday.
Her 'friend' drove her against the wall and she decided to write about it to her friends on the Yalun's Puddings Chatbox in the Friendship Corner.

This was what Daphne wrote under the name of Starrieangellx:

Actually, I had a rather demoralizing day since yesterday morning onwards. I didn’t write about it yesterday because I did not want to bother you guys but the more I think about it I might need some opinions because I feel rather lost. This one is about my friend in school. >”<

I’ve got this friend whom I knew like 2 years back and I had been tolerating her for awhile now. Well, what can I say about her? She made me really irritated with her. It’s like… She’s one of those people who like winning. If you win her in marks, she shows you this really black face, but if you lose to her she smiles at you and your results and starts telling you how well she scored. So what happened yesterday was: We got our physics paper back yesterday and I failed and the lucky girl passed. Her first line was, “Oh my god! I did not expect that I would pass! I did not even study for it!”

She said the same thing when we got back our Literature paper. She kept repeating and repeating those lines to me that they got stuck in my brain for the rest of that day too. If you tell her how bad you felt because of your lousy marks, she won’t sympathize you and offer to help you but make you feel worse. >< What’s worse is that she does not bother to help you with what you do not know. She’ll just say that she anyhow did the questions.

It’s like, she seem to be so happy-go-lucky who can just pass anything without studying for them and depends it all on luck. It makes me as if all my efforts placed on studying were wasted since I keep failing them despite studying.

Because of her, I nearly cried during Mathematics because I just kept thinking about the lousy marks I had for physics. I am really starting to feel that she has pushed me against the wall and I might explode any minute. I am starting to dread her phone calls as well. Why do people just enjoy bringing others down so much? I’m really starting to wonder if returning to school for 5N was even such a good idea.

Can anyone actually give me any opinions regarding what I can do with her?? Two of my friends in school are telling me just to stop being her friend, but it’s really impossible since we’ve known each other for 2 years. Another one tells me just to try and accept her and understand her but I really do not know how to. My mother did not seem to be really interested and just simply told me to win her in examinations and ignore whatever she says to me. However, the thing is: The things above are easier said than done. It’s easy for people to tell me to ignore her, but I think I’m one of those sensitive people out there… Help. =( I really got no time for friendship problems this year. T_T Sorry to bother all of you with this really long post.

And she was glad that she had wonderful online friends who took the time to read that sickening long passage and replied to her with LONG replies too.

Sammy

Gosh, that is a bit mean, u should support ur friends in time of bad luck esp. Yes 2 years is a long
friendship. I recently had a falling out with a frined for no reason i mentioned it here. I think, maybe give her some time. Bloating about good marks isnt nice. I am no expert on relationships ... us puddings will help out a fellow pudding and friend. Gosh what a bloater !! I'd hate to see her fail she'd be balling her eyes out on ur shoulder... Quitely i bet she studies really hard, dont believe what she says, have to work to get grades esp when she is so obsessed about winning. That isnt a friend doing this, maybe say something to her. Gosh her behaviour is not nice. I found it was best to let it go ANgel and not let friendship problems complicate things more. I hate ignoring friends and i find it hard to also let a friend go, so i dont know maybe talk with her.... not sure la...

*It came out in bits and pieces because he replied by breaking up her post.

Celeste

Aww. it's OK to offload on us; we're good listeners. It's hard when friends do not treat you as a friend should and are not sensitive to your feelings. True friends value your worth and comfort you when you down. My heart goes out to you dear girl. That time I was emo? I was also hurt by someone whom I thought can be my "friend" but it was not meant to be. You and Puddings comforted me and made me realised I have other friends. I have choices and I can count my blessings that there are others who appreciate me and so can you. And there will be many more friends (oops sorry edit!) who truly appreciate and value you, like us; we do. So Angelx I know you have a good heart and that's why you get sensitive to people's feelings and little animals; because you wont treat people shabbily and you dont expect people to treat you that way. Maybe you are feeling how come a buddy can treat you that way; so insensitive. Well, chill out abit. I think that the pressure is getting to you. Maybe this friend is not matured enough to know that her behaviour is effecting you and she dont mean malice. Take some time away from the situation; dont think too much, and concentrate on your studies. Like I say tackle the weakest subjects and once you pull your marks up; it doesnt matter what anyone says in your face because YOU will already have self satisfaction that you've done ok. Be confident you can do it. Dont be discouraged, some people are just good at soft subjects like the arts, design and landscape (like Sammy bro), fashion design (Raine!), mass communication, journalism (Arron!), humanities but not "hard" subjects like biochem, engineering (wow), maths (Arron do not like) and IT. Hope you feel better soon. ^^
Stick around for some Arron therapy catch out some godd or funny clips a-li have uploaded. Hope it helps. Wow you can sing! Not many people got good vocals. When I start looking for singers for the Song Project, would you like to join?^^

Vivii

About your "friend" problem, i'm not good at giving advice about this, but i once knew a girl who had quite a similar character, always getting good marks and .. blah. But it's not the same as you because she was not really my friend. And i'd rather not have her as a friend, so i stayed far from her =p
But for your friend, what can i say. Maybe she just doesn't know the behaviour she's having, but i don't know what others can do about it. You shouldn't listen to her too carefully, just focus on your results and how you could do better. No need to compare to others.
Don't know if it can help you, but i hope you won't get to irritated by this person ok ? =)

Rave

hey gurl, no worries about bothering us here, we are always ready to listen to all the pudding's problem, thats why we, pudding have each other's back
i know the friend u had mention is not purplepudding, ur story is totally understandable^^
so far i didnt have that kind of friends but i can understand how u feel, cos i know the feeling what is like when u got lousy marks while ur friends got so much higher than u
maybe u should not mixed with her so much, get to know ur other friends in class, i am sure there are real friends out there but u only just need to find out
or, try to consult this problem to her, let he know that she is affecting u and ur emotions
let her know so that she realise her mistake(if she do) and she might change her attitude in future
atleast let her know that her attitude may affect other ppl, besides u so she wont repeat that again
take her as ur motivation, like ur mother said, get better grades, who cares is she is angry at u for getting higher than her, if she is like that, she is not sporting at all as she cant take the fact that others could beat her in the grades
i tried that once b4, i was so upset that i almost failed in my exam while my friends got so much higher that i do, i cried when i keep thinking about that on that day
but then there's still final, so i take them as my motivator, set up goals and tell myself i could do better than them one day, and then voila!, its does worked and my goals did come true.
try it out for urself, i think it does worked as long as u believe urself
if ur friend doesn't change her attitude, i think u better stay away from, dun let her get into u cos she is not acting like a sport
and u always got us, puddings for u, take care ^^

Wishing_Stars

I went through something simillar to this too when I was in Secondary 2, however, it wasn't just me alone but a group of my friends. So I know on a smaller level how much you feel. (:
Although she may be your friend for 2 years, however, if she doesn't consider your feeling, you may just have to LET GO, no matter how hard it's going to be. May I assume that you're taking your O Levels this year? If so, thr may be a reason to her insensitive behaviour. She may be feeling the stress upon the looming O levels and she may just be feeling majorly discouraged right now.
She may just be trying to make herself feel better and by doing that, she may try to put others down in order to make herself feel better. She probably feels stressed out when others do better than her.
You may want to talk to her about it. Or at the very least, try to encourage her, help her build her self confidence up by praising her when she does well. (:
Once she starts to feel more confident abt herself and her studies, her remarks will probably stop. She's just probably just feeling really unconfident in her studies and needs comfort from others, but doesn't know how to.
Some ppl just need to see that they're doing better than others as they are lacking in confidence. Talk to her. Praise her (example, she did very well in Physics, then just joke-compliment her by saying: "WOW!! Congratz!! Physics genius eh?? lols, next time you be my physics tutor!!") Compliments are really soothing words to the unconfident soul. (:
All the best in helping your friend!! But if she does continue to put you down, know to let go. Ignore her remarks, they're not worth listening to and pondering and tearing over. If she doesn't appreciate your attempts in making peace, and helping her build her confidence, thr's nothing much we can do about it.
Jia yous in your studies!!!

Diapers

starrieangellx} Just ignore her. Seriously I have worse problems than you. This kind of friend isn't worth keeping. You're so nice, I'm sure you can find much better friends!
Well..my friends. They've all started smoking for some unknown reason, and I can't fit in. And they don't allow me to go out with them because they don't want me to be around them when they start. When I tell them to quit, they say it's hard. It's been taking such a long time, and it's tiring too. I've already given up on them. They're still my friends, but sometimes I just don't feel like talking to them.

Hotlips

I am not sure what your friend is like but she may not know that what she says hurts your feelings but for you to still regard her as a friend even though she has hurt your feelings again and again shows that you treasure her friendship.
You may want to let her know your feelings first and let her decide if she respect & want to keep you as a friend and stop saying things to hurt your feelings. Normally if the person really considers you a friend, she will respect your feedback. If she is not and then she was never your true friend in the first place. But i feel that she regards you as one, just that she is not aware of how you feel.
I am one person who likes to tease people a lot - but if the person doesnt like the teasings - i will normally put a stop to it
I tend to agree with your mother, just ignore what she says but take it as a challenge to prove her wrong. Remember i told you about failing my pre-liminary examinations for O levels - and the teacher insulted me and ask me to work in a farm or something since i keep failing - i was hurt but i took it positively and worked hard - eventually i turned my aggregate 30 marks to 13 marks and got into college to the surprise but happiness of my teacher. I think she used reverse psycology to bring up my fighting spirit. Even if i had failed - at least i know in my conscience that i have put in my best efforts to study hard but just that i was not ready for the exams so best to repeat it again to re-grasp the knowledge rather than not trying.
So try not to get affected by her but use this to motivate yourself to study harder and prove her wrong. I think you should try to approach your teachers to help you with your weak subjects - i am sure your teacher seeing that you want to improve will help you - start now or march holidays to try to catch up. If you can, get some help from your classmates who are really good in their studies.
Don't worry too much about what others say - sometimes they dont mean to hurt your feelings but they are not aware of it. How would they know if they dont tell but if you tell and then still continue - then forget about this type of friends (i would call them acquaintances but not friends).
Take care and i am sure your efforts will help
Eh the above are only my opinions lah based on what you have given us - other people may have different views - so read with a pinch of salt and you decide what is best for your situation

*sniff* Daphne feels so grateful and blessed that Puddings are here to help her out with her problems. T___T Daphne feels that she has found a new meaning in Life and that is to strive for good grades and not to let Arron and her online friends down. ^^ Daphne shall NOT allow what her 'friend' had told her all the time demoralise her.

Daphne now understands the true meaning of friendship- Friends should be there for you and not to demoralise you in anyway. They should also be willing to help you and not there to bring you down. So dear* if you do read this by any chance, Daphne suggests that you think twice before insulting her again before she really kicks you off her list of friends.

Watch out!! D<

♥ 11:36:00 AM